Friday, May 17, 2013

Stepping Into Quiet

That first step out of the woods onto
Blacktop is where I find myself again walking free,
Society,
The environment real,
In a hazy dream surreal
The appeal
Its feel peeling away truth
Sparking up desire for more
For more of it
More of you,
Consuming my soul
Urging me on
Inward
Far gone
A retreat, a regret it is not
Rather something I accept, nonetheless
This feeling
My being
Of here
Though not really being
Wanting for there
(Perhaps I will come to regret)
For a share in that crisp, cool air
Inhale just another drink from that
White cup everlasting, beauti-
Ful trees blowing fierce,
Gales ripping through my song
Sung across time
That which experience has shaped and defines,
Wisdom to the wind
I search for more
Where earlier it had been,
Blown away by the sheer force of a single moment,
Racing,
Digging deeper
A reaper of self
Threatening to banish,
Inside out skin slither spine shiver
Reflections I see in the faces of others seeing me
As someone other than myself,
Their faces say it all
Distance speaks to me,
As I have grown distant,
On call my needy brain waves reverberate back to nothingness, no substance there, nothing to these thoughts besides the push and pull of over thought,
Me wrought flimsy pipeline to nowhere, circular,
The people never come for me,
I call it love,
Malleable, experiences shapes,
Their humanity and my own free me up,
Olive branch of my self
We each built up out of experience,
Built up and beaten down by the self and those in our likeness,
The easy breeze,
Curtains closing on this ugly show,
Desire fades,
A whisper,
Nothing left
But this moment,
No regrets.

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